![]() ![]() Most of us have childhood issues, but we have an obligation to be mindful of how they affect our present and future relationships. If someone has more of a need for affirmation and attention, or shows other signs of a codependent relationship, they might be more likely to cheat, as they may be likelier to seek external validation during times of tension and relationship conflict. Through the ups and downs of a relationship, there should also be a fairly equal give-and-take. This is often due to a lack of communication in relationships, attention, effort, and intent. This can feel boring to some and lead a person to stray. For example, it’s natural for a relationship to go through the “honeymoon phase” initially and gradually start to feel normal, routine, and stable. Relationships experience highs and lows, which people often become accustomed to over time. Nine reasons people may relate to “once a cheater, always a cheater” are: 1. They struggle with attachment issues, trauma, intimacy, commitment issues, codependency, and boredom. People who continuously and repeatedly commit infidelity or even identify with the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” often have different views than most people about infidelity. They look to others for validation–extrinsic validation–because they are unable to validate themselves. This also leads to having difficulty being and functioning on their own. They cannot be alone: At their core, they may be full of insecurity and seek out multiple hookups or partners to boost their self-esteem and confidence.When confronted, they will often project onto, distract, or blame their partner and act as though they have done nothing wrong. ![]() They use manipulation tactics to avoid taking responsibility and shift the blame for their bad behavior on their partner or another person. They cannot accept responsibility: In essence, nothing is ever their fault.They may claim that the relationship fell apart entirely due to their ex-partner, and that they did “everything they could” to make it work. They speak negatively of ex-partners: They will often call their previous partners “crazy” and turn against them.The innocent partner often finds themselves defending what they are doing to try and convince their partner they are not cheating. They accuse you of cheating: A person who is cheating will often accuse their partner of cheating as a form of projection (truly believing their partner is cheating) or a way to distract them from reality.However, when this happens, they will use this as an opportunity to accuse you of snooping or prying, making you the problem. ![]() The irony is that technology is often the way they get caught because they get sloppy. They may also exhibit defensiveness, stonewalling, and/or gaslighting when confronted about this. They get offended when you ask for information.
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